babygotbackandsomechickennuggets:

when you go to a friends house and their pet sits next you 

image

cassy-the-fallen-angel:

trekual-innuendos:

Complimenting an artistic friend’s work

its so accurate because i have been in both sides of the situation 

aangnog:

wifihotspot:

windowsvriska:

what if u walked into ur kitchen and kanye west was lovingly preparing cookies for u and quietly rapping to himself in a happy tone that would be so beautiful

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no one man should have all that flour

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

hatewizard:

“THEY WERE JUST TEENAGERS” idk man I was a crazy, stupid, reckless, and unstable teenager but not once did I ever get the urge to kidnap, drug, and rape someone

AFUCKINGMEN

dylandigits:

comfemgem:

The mainstream will embrace non-binary genders when it figures out how to profit from them.

"Which gender are YOU? Do gender YOUR way… at JC Penney!"

dokibots:

haha! have fun at highschool today NERDS. i’m gonna be doing cool ADULT stuff like sleeping WHENEVER i want and CRYING 

strayslack:

*at a job interview* 
interviewer: tell me more about yourself
me: Welcome To My Twisted Mind

jackhoward:

damnlazycows:

why do people start smoking 

it is very clear that smoking is not good for you or the people around you 

it makes you age quickly it makes you die it is fucking expensive 

why start??? are people that serious about being cool??? 

smoking isn’t cool